Rude And Offensive Doormats

Are you anti-social? Don´t want people coming round? Get your message across right from the start with a Rude and Offensive Doormat!

These “Unwelcome Mats” will get the point over to unwanted visitors before they even knock on the door and act as an excellent front line housecaller repellant. Get your message through to even the most stubborn and determined jehovah’s witnesses…”LEAVE THIS HOUSE AND NEVER DARKEN OUR DOORSTEP AGAIN!”

We´ve been thinking about writing this section for quite a while, but wanted to find the best tools for this task of retaining your self imposed solitude. If you find any better doormats for this purpose out there, be sure to let us know, it´s never too late to add to our collection.

SO…let´s get the ball rolling, we´ll start off with a polite warning, a gentle “GO AWAY” message to unwanted foreigners….foreigners in this case being anybody who doesn´t live in your house.

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Go Away DoormatToo Polite? Want something more direct? No problem, we present the short and sweet and very much to the point…”LEAVE DOORMAT”.

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"LEAVE" DoormatStill not working for you? Let´s try a different tactic….this doormat will discourage Jehovah´s Witnesses  and some cold callers while encouraging friends to ring that doorbell. Welcome Motherfucker!

Buy it from UK  or  Buy it from USAWelcome Motherfucker Doormat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You´re still reading huh? Guess we haven´t hit the right doormat for you yet. Well, don´t despair, here it is….the be all and end all, the piece de resistance of offensive doormats. Make your point and your dislike of all potential visitors loud and clear…….FUCK OFF!

There are a few of these, so we´ve narrowed it down to the best three.

The classic.

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Classic Fuck Off DoormatThe Finger

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The Finger Fuck Off Doormat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Good Old Fashioned Fuck Off Doormat

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The Good Old Fashioned Fuck Off Doormat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There it is…the best collection of naughty doormats you´re ever likely to see on the internet. We hope you´ve found what you´re looking for and as always feel free to leave us a comment. Until next time dudes!

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Upside Down Wine Glasses

Dare to be different by drinking your vino from Upside Down Wine Glasses.

“Quirky but cool” is the opinion at Funny Stuff HQ. Holding one of these in your hand gives the illusion that your wine is suspended in mid air and may cause panic to drunken people in your view.

Upside Down Wine Glass
Mystify drunken friends with you powers of boozy magic.

I can only speak for myself on this, but there would be a 90% chance of me getting totalled and forgetting which way up the glass was supposed to be, ending in a wine on floor error, so i guess what i´m trying to say is, stay switched on when using this, the dangers are there for everybody to see. All completely worth it though, to see the most drunken guy or girl in the room attempt to figure out what´s wrong with this picture.

Wouldn´t it be great to have 300 of these at a wedding, put your feet up, sit back and watch the carnage unfold?

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If you like this, also take a look at our Tipsy Wine Glasses or Magic Chain Wine Bottle Holder or Wine Bottle Glass.

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